Well moving time is here again, and I am preparing for all the fun that comes with it: transitioning jobs, insurance, mailing address, doctors, packing, unpacking, adjusting, buying a better coat, and generally trying out a new lifestyle. I don’t particularly like Chicago itself, but I like what it has to offer. It’s a mixed bag, as moving always is, but I am excited to start a new chapter with Kasey. I am excited to attend U of Illinois at Chicago, and excited to see Kasey do his grad work at Loyola U.  I am excited to find a yoga class and not have to drive an hour to find a grocery store that sells gluten-free bread and almond milk.

When I say I’m not excited about the city itself, I mean  - it’s so ugly! Grey and dingy and old… and compact! I feel claustrophobic as I walk down Chicago streets … I miss a place that’s spread out and sunny and colorful… aka Cali and Az. But we have so many good reasons to move there and so much to gain from living there for a while. I am sure I’ll love it once I’m there. I just long for those blue skies that stretch so far and those hot, dry summer days, and the reds, rich browns, purples, yellows, and greens of the desert. I hear that Chicago can be very beautiful – is that during the summertime?  ;)  No, but seriously, I can’t wait to discover the unique beauty of Chicago because I know it’s there. It’s just going to be something new.

Moving always makes me reflect on where I’ve been and where I’m going. Right now I am coming out of a phase of personal growth – learning to be married, learning to be apart from so many loved ones, learning to get along with those who don’t think like me, learning that truly trying to understand where someone is coming from is the most human and most difficult thing, and finding that I am actually ok no matter where I am. I am me, and me is home. I have learned to be at home with myself and make no apologies for what I have learned.

I feel that I’m going into a phase of professional development. Chicago is a place with lots of opportunity for involvement and networking. There are so many schools (both secondary and U) in such a small area, offering education and experience that will take me far beyond where I am now. I look forward to being in school again, and especially under the faculty at UIC’s ENG ED dept. Wow does that invigorate me! I am going to have an entirely different teaching experience than I have had so far, and serve a new kind of community. Serving a military community has become second nature to me, and inner city will present families and students with different needs, priorities, and ways of seeing. I welcome the challenge of learning the norms of a new community, but I also know how hard the transition will be. When we leave Chicago (probably for the West Coast), we’ll have become better versions of ourselves. As I believe every life experience can offer.

Maybe nothing will go as planned. Maybe we’ll end up in Virginia, or Ashville NC, or Venezuela. Who knows other than God. We are making plans and then letting it all fall as it will, because that’s the beauty of life. It comes at you, and you get to roll with it, no matter what your plans were. I am grateful for God’s love and goodness, for Kasey, for our families and all that they give us, for our incredible and unique friends, and for all the wonderful opportunities that have been made available to us – not always through our own merit.

Anybody got some extra cardboard boxes lying around?

If you are interested in real change, vote third party. That’s what I ultimately decided for the 2008 election. Now I know many of you are thinking, “A third party vote is a vote thrown away. She’s not going to win any more than Nader is going to win!” I know that, and don’t get me wrong, I almost got carried away with all the commotion from the Obama crowd. I do like Obama and I think he’ll make a good president if he wins. But he doesn’t have my vote and this is why:

While the public and the media has celebrated that we have a viable Black candidate for president, they have failed to give any attention to the other Black candidate, Cynthia McKinney. She was a congresswoman from Georgia and she is the presidential candidate for the Green Party. Apparently, our public isn’t truly looking for change and diversity, or perhaps you would have heard McKinney’s name by now. A woman and a minority? HELLO CNN! Here’s a story for you. But … no. They have left her quite alone in the empty corner reserved for third party candidates. No one has celebrated the diversity she brings to the 2008 race, and no one has cared to look into what she stands for. Once you inform yourself about McKinney, you would no longer look at Obama as the diverse “change” candidate. 

Clearly, McKinney will not be elected President. That is not why I am voting for her. Voting for a third party candidate is a political tactic to pressure the two major parties (dems and reps) into addressing issues that remain at the periphery of mainstream public debate. This tactic has historical significance and effectiveness: For instance, third party interests swayed the platform of William J. Bryan (D) in 1896. Bryan changed his platform in order to steal votes from the populist movement (a third party movement). Another example: Charles Evans (R) in 1916, changed the republican platform in order to steal votes away from the Republican-turned-Progressive (third) Party candidate, Theodore Roosevelt. More recently, in 2000 Ralph Nader ran on the platform of breaking corporate control of government, and this directly influenced both Obama and McCain after this to talk about the need for campaign finance reform, shifting their stances to reflect that of the Independent Party. 
POWER TO THE PEOPLE!

HERE IS AN OVERVIEW OF WHAT THE GREEN PARTY IS ABOUT:

A lot of people think the Green Party is just about the environment, but that’s not the case. This is some basic information taken directly from the Green Party Platform:

A Call to Action 
The Green Platform presents an eco-social analysis and vision for our country. In contrast to the way in which major political parties create their platforms, through the back-room deals of insiders and power- brokers, we have created a grassroots process that invites submissions from every local Green Party and every Green individual. Through democratic process over a year and a half, we arrive at a final draft to present to our national convention for approval. The Green Platform is an evolving document, a living work- in-progress that expresses our commitment to creating wise and enduring change in specific policies and in the political process itself. The Green Party is committed to values-based politics, as expressed in our Ten Key Values. These values guide us in countering and changing a system that extols exploitation, unsustainable consumption, and destructive competition. 

10 KEY VALUES 
1. GRASSROOTS DEMOCRACY 
Every human being deserves a say in the decisions that affect his or her life and should not be subject to the will of another. Therefore, we will work to increase public participation at every level of government and to ensure that our public representatives are fully accountable to the people who elect them. We will also work to create new types of political organizations which expand the process of participatory democracy by directly including citizens in the decision- making process. 
2. SOCIAL JUSTICE AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY 
All persons should have the rights and opportunity to benefit equally from the resources 
afforded us by society and the environment. We must consciously confront in ourselves, our organizations, and society at large, barriers such as racism and class oppression, sexism and homophobia, ageism and disability, which act to deny fair treatment and equal justice under the law. 
3. ECOLOGICAL WISDOM 
Human societies must operate with the understanding that we are part of nature, not separate 
from nature. We must maintain an ecological balance and live within the ecological and resource limits of our communities and our planet. We support a sustainable society which utilizes resources in such a way that future generations will benefit and not suffer from the practices of our generation. To this end we must practice agriculture which replenishes the soil; move to an energy efficient economy; and live in ways that respect the integrity of natural systems. 
4. NON-VIOLENCE 
It is essential that we develop effective alternatives to society’s current patterns of violence. We will work to demilitarize, and eliminate weapons of mass destruction, without being naive about the intentions of other governments. We recognize the need for self-defense and the defense of others who are in helpless situations. We promote non-violent methods to oppose practices and policies with which we disagree, and will guide our actions toward lasting personal, community and global peace. 
5. DECENTRALIZATION 
Centralization of wealth and power contributes to social and economic injustice, environmental destruction, and militarization. Therefore, we support a restructuring of social, political and economic institutions away from a system which is controlled by and mostly benefits the powerful few, to a democratic, less bureaucratic system. Decision-making should, as much as possible, remain at the individual and local level, while assuring that civil rights are protected for all citizens.
6. COMMUNITY BASED ECONOMICS 
Redesign our work structures to encourage employee ownership and workplace democracy. 
Develop new economic activities and institutions that will allow us to use our new technologies in ways that are humane, freeing, ecological and accountable, and responsive to communities. Establish some form of basic economic security, open to all. 
Move beyond the narrow “job ethic” to new definitions of “work,” jobs” and “income” that reflect the changing economy. Restructure our patterns of income distribution to reflect the wealth created by those outside the formal monetary economy: those who take responsibility for parenting, housekeeping, home gardens, community volunteer work, etc. Restrict the size and concentrated power of corporations without discouraging superior efficiency or technological innovation. 
7. FEMINISM AND GENDER EQUITY 
We have inherited a social system based on male domination of politics and economics. We call for the replacement of the cultural ethics of domination and control with more cooperative ways of interacting that respect differences of opinion and gender. Human values such as equity between the sexes, interpersonal responsibility, and honesty must be developed with moral conscience. We should remember that the process that determines our decisions and actions is just as important as achieving the outcome we want. 
8. RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY 
We believe it is important to value cultural, ethnic, racial, sexual, religious and spiritual diversity, and to promote the development of respectful relationships across these lines. 
We believe that the many diverse elements of society should be reflected in our organizations and decision-making bodies, and we support the leadership of people who have been traditionally closed out of leadership roles. We acknowledge and encourage respect for other life forms than our own and the preservation of biodiversity. 
9. PERSONAL AND GLOBAL RESPONSIBILITY 
We encourage individuals to act to improve their personal well-being and, at the same time, to enhance ecological balance and social harmony. We seek to join with people and organizations around the world to foster peace, economic justice, and the health of the planet. 
10. FUTURE FOCUS AND SUSTAINABILITY 
Our actions and policies should be motivated by long-term goals. We seek to protect valuable natural resources, safely disposing of or “unmaking” all waste we create, while developing a sustainable economics that does not depend on continual expansion for survival. We must counterbalance the drive for short-term profits by assuring that economic development, new technologies, and fiscal policies are responsible to future generations who will inherit the results of our actions. Make the quality of life, rather than open-ended economic growth, the focus of future thinking.

Click on the following link to read the entire 74 page doc:
http://www.gp.org/platform/2004/2004platform.pdf 

HERE IS AN OVERVIEW OF WHAT CYNTHIA MCKINNEY IS ABOUTt:
A former six-term Member of Congress from Georgia, Cynthia McKinney proved herself a courageous voice for the voiceless, unafraid to speak truth to power. Cynthia’s Power to the People Committee is working to put Cynthia on fifty-one ballot lines!

Cynthia:

* Consistently opposed funding for bloated military and secret intelligence budgets;

* Introduced Articles of Impeachment for George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Condoleezza Rice;

* Introduced, championed, and passed in the U.S. House the Arms Trade Code of Conduct, prohibiting the sale of arms to known human rights abusers;

* Authored legislation to end the use of depleted uranium weapons;

* Passed legislation to extend health benefits for Vietnam War veterans still suffering the health effects from exposure to the defoliant Agent Orange;

* Challenged Pentagon Secretary Rumsfeld and Chairman Myers of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on the $2.3 trillion missing Pentagon money and on U.S.-sponsored war games taking place on September 11, 2001;

* Currently serves on (a) International Tribunal on Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, (b) Brussels Tribunal on Iraq, (c) is participating in War Crimes prosecutions in Spain, and (d) is working with the Malaysian Peace Organization to criminalize war;

* Introduced legislation to eliminate federal subsidies for corporations taking jobs overseas.

Cynthia was never afraid to introduce legislation that showed her moral compass and where she felt our country ought to be. In that regard, after the tragedy of September 11th, 2001, Cynthia introduced legislation that would allow the survivors of the tragedy’s victims to sue those responsible for the attacks as well as participate in the Victims Compensation Fund. She introduced legislation to establish a national living wage and she also introduced legislation to repeal the Military Tribunals Act. Her signature environmental piece of legislation was the National Forest Protection and Restoration Act which would have provided much-needed jobs and revenues for the restoration and protection of America’s national forests. McKinney successfully authorized the USDA disparity study that demonstrated USDA discrimination against minority farmers. McKinney, like so many Americans, has long held Green values. McKinney is now proudly a Green. 

The above info was taken directly from: (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cynthia-McKinney)

For a more detailed look at McKinney and her accomplishments, go to: 

http://votetruth08.com/index.php/learn/meet-the-candidates

I love Chattanooga. I love it, I love it, I love it! And I know that I couldn’t wait to move away from this area when I attended Lee, but now that I have been away for a while, I appreciate how unique it is. 

The natural beauty is the first and most obvious thing – the mountains furry with green trees, the flowers and the gorgeous mild weather. Then there’s the community. We went to the Chattanooga Market downtown, where they have local farmers, artists, and other types of local products for sale. All those little stands and all the good smells made me want to move back here. There was home-grown coffee, peppers, tomatoes, apples, melons, and so many other kinds of produce. There was ice cream and lemonade and deli stuff. There was jewelry, furniture, art, clothing, soaps, and all kinds of novelties. This sounds like a commercial, I know, but I really loved it that much! And it’s not just the “stuff” – it’s the people you meet there. All kinds of good-natured, laid back, peaceful, environmentally responsible people. The kind of people that give you hope for our communities to get healthier and more locally centered (as opposed to corporately centered, by places like walmart and starbucks). 

Then of course there’s all the touristy stuff – the aquarium, the imax theater, the walking bridge, the science museum, the running “river” water all over the square outside the aquarium, the horse and buggy rides, and of course all the local choices of eateries. So much fun! My favorite is the butterfly room at the aquarium – I love when a butterfly lands on me for a moment. 

This is the place where I met my husband, fell in love, grew into my adult self, and learned so many lessons. I think I will probably keep ending up here throughout my life. I want to travel around and live in lots of other places, but Chattanooga is a special place for Kasey and me. Awe! >tear<

Family. A word with so many different meanings for so many different people. For me, it means love and many burdens. 

When you have become an independent individual from your family, especially from your parents, their rituals and manners of communication can seem very foreign. I know this because have I unlearned their language so much that I forgot even how to say “Hello” and “Goodbye.” Sometimes I wonder how this all happened. How I became me and they continued to become them. I lump them all together: “Them.” Sometimes it feels like Me versus Them. But who really wants that?

So I try to be compassionate to their situations and needs. I try to be patient – you’d be surprised how far I’ve come. But somehow, no matter how old you get or how far away you move, it never stops being sucky. It never stops being painful. It never stops affecting you, which is one thing I think I may have been hoping for a few years ago when I decided to go across the country to Lee University – 2,000 miles from home. Even here, 2,000 miles away… it finds me. 

And I keep finding them. Because they are my family. And what can you do? Deny that they fed you and raised you and sang to you and bought you clothes and kept a roof over your head your whole life? What can you do but love them for what they are, in spite of what you think they aren’t. What else can you really do? 

I a sitting here wishing, just like I did when I was 15, that I had anyone’s parents but mine. 

But I am also thinking that I would be perfectly content if they would just be better versions of themselves – not different people, but rather, the people they could be. I would like that, I think.

None of us are the people we could be. But some are farther along then others. I don’t know – after these years of finding new possibilities for myself outside the realm of my family and their dysfunctions – I am cautious of jumping back in full force to be involved in their lives. And that’s the choice I am facing right now. How involved can I be without losing part of the new, healthy person I have grown into? How much can I help them while also accepting that I don’t have control over their situations; only they do. Where is that line?

I have been thinking about what to “proclaim” myself as (politically). You know how facebook sort of puts the pressure on? Pick something. Liberal? Conservative? Moderate? What do these even mean to me? And what do they mean to others? 

The problem for me arises when it becomes evident through conversations with friends and through reading that these terms hold different meanings for different people. Sounds like my blog on gender equality. Well I notice this issue – the inconsistency of language – recurring in various arenas all around me; our language is constantly evolving, changing, morphing, and being used for different reasons in different contexts. So how can we pin down a steady, universal meaning for American political language? It’s difficult.

For instance, many think that Obama is a “progressive” candidate, and in some ways, he is. However, he is not the most progressive democratic candidate that ran – take Mike Gravel, for example. As far as policies go, this guy is far more progressive than Obama. But if Obama uses the term, “progressive” for himself, he can create an image in many people’s mind of what he’s about, even though he may not actually represent the interests of many progressives today. In what ways is Obama not progressive, you may ask? Well, he supports the death penalty. He supports government funded faith-based initiatives. His money is not as clean as he would like to propose – he has accepted corporate money. He wants to increase the size of our military. He wants to make 2 years of civil service (community or military) mandatory for every United States citizen (with few exemptions). Contrary to his image, he has done little politically to help the problems of social inequalities (be it race, gender, or social-economic-status, etc.). He voted for the 2006 re-enactment of the Patriot Act. (You can see all this information if you check his voting record or public statements by him). Now, I do see many fine qualities in Obama, and this blog is not to argue against him. But just because he is biracial and democratic does not mean he is actually progressive or radically different in policy than many other traditional democrats. My point here is that we tend to use political terms so broadly that we may not even realize what policies certain politicians have supported.

McCain is not without his inconsistencies either: in the 80s, he voted AGAINST making MLK DAY a national holiday, although he claims to support diversity. He supported the public finance act years ago, but has not followed through with that during his current presidential campaign. He has publicly acknowledged that he doesn’t know much at all about economics, and that he needed to educate himself on the matter (he stated this on numerous occasions, but the most amusing is on an interview with Tim Russert on “Meet the Press.” Youtube it). He supports “amnesty” for immigrants, which contradicts the republican platform. He supports the “Dont’ ask, don’t tell” policy on homosexuality in the military. (This silence toward homosexuality in the military could be seen as a passive way of allowing homosexuals in the military, which is again, contradicting his party’s platform.) I don’t like McCain very much for many reasons, but among them the most striking are: [1] he is pro-war, and [2] he voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act of 2007 (which was a public policy that sought to bridge the gender gap when it came to income disparities). 

. . .Of course, regardless of my preferences, it’s clear that these two candidates project certain images of themselves to the American public; unfortunately, the reality of who they are and what they do don’t always match up to these projected images. Images like: democrat, republican, moderate, progressive, liberal, conservative. It would be far more beneficial to America’s people if we talked less in labels and generalities and more in policies and specifics. That’s where we are most likely to find meaning and resolve. We need to have discussions about particular policies and the implications of those policies, rather than proudly (and often blindly) supporting a political party that may not even represent our interests. 

Now, I am very well aware that McCain does not support my interests. I started to think that Obama did. And he does on some issues. But then you have the money, the lobbyists, the corporations, racial misunderstandings, the media exploitation of facts, and by the end of it all, who knows what anyone really stands for in our mainstream political arena? Both parties are so steeped in the complicated power-relationship with money that they aren’t so different when you look at it in those terms (of money and power).

Douglas Adams said,

“Anyone capable of getting him/herself elected president should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

And these Ani DiFranco lyrics illuminate the idea of convoluted party interests: 

“Yes the goons have gone global

and the CEOs are shredding files

and the democrans and the republicrats 

are flashing their toothy smiles

Uncle Tom is posing for a photo op

with the oval office clan

and Uncle Sam is rigging cockfights

in the promised land…”

The wordplay of “democrans and republicrats” lets us for a moment stop and realize that our two major political parties are based on similar foundations. The two greatest similarities in my opinion are: [1] where they get their money; corporations, etc., and [2] their voracious drive to gain and maintain power. This makes the two parties not so different despite obvious differences we may notice at first glance (such as pro-life/pro-choice; same-sex marriage; taxes; the war, etc.). 

Not only is American public political language inadequate for us to truly make sense of our situation, but our perspicacity of America’s historical context is weak. We forget that the REPUBLICAN party signed the Emancipation proclamation, while the DEMOCRATIC white elitist politicians of the south perpetuated acts of racial hatred and an unjust justice system for African Americans during reconstruction. Lynchings increased 200% in the south between the years 1882-1892 under democratic governance. Yet not even a century later, the DEMOCRATS wrote Civil Rights into law. We ought not forget that parties morph and change – and that we must be alert to these changes, for at any given time we may find ourselves supporting politicians or a political party which does not actually represent us. 

Because our public political language is constantly changing, we must make ourselves aware and informed of the actual ISSUES. Our public political language – both from the media and the politicians – is often nebulous and perfunctory. Or it’s muddled with sensational discussions on peripheral concepts (such as much of the news media is responsible for … Rev. Wright? Ahem…), thus taking the population’s attention off of the real issues – if we rely on mainstream media and the major parties alone, we would and will often be led astray. 

If parties can shift so much over the short span of a century – (as exemplified above) – we MUST inform ourselves of the facts and the issues so that we can be alert to those changes. 

Don’t speak generally; speak specifically!!! 

It’s not always wise to trust terms such as “progressive” or “moderate”… we should ask ourselves, “What do these terms actually mean to me? And what do they mean to others?” It’s easy to know what terms mean to us. The more difficult responsibility we have is to try to understand what they mean to others – both in the public and private spectrums. And most importantly: FIND OUT! Look it up! We need to do our homework and read, read, read. We need to be responsible, critically-thinking citizens. Future generations depend on OUR ability to detect bull-crap. Once our population stops thinking critically, intelligently, and unselfishly about our leadership and its direction, we’ll crumble.

When I was younger, my maternal grandmother used to sing that song from Disney’s cartoon, “Cinderella,” every time she saw me clean something up. So now whenever I clean, I can hear her voice in my head, singing that bird and mice song. 

Kasey and I accomplished so much today! Assembled two bookshelves, a towel rack, rearranged the living room, scoured the bathroom (we are talking serious elbow grease), and made dinner to boot. There’s nothing better than sitting down in your nice, clean-smelling house after you spent most of the day fixing it up.

You know, sometimes I forget what it’s like to get my hands dirty. When I was a server, my hands were dirty on a daily basis. I would come home from an 8 hour day or a 15 hour day, and just plop on the couch because I could do nothing else. Then, when I felt that I could stand up long enough to get myself into a hot shower, I would let the water beat on my back and just wash away all the tension. Now that I’m a teacher, I obviously still have stress. It’s just a very different kind. I guess you can tell that I don’t clean often, since this one cleaning endeavor made me reflect on my days as a server. This poor little apartment. Usually so neglected. And what inspired this cleaning, you ask? What else? The parents are coming to visit.

I am sitting on a rocking swing, facing Nashville’s recreation of the parthenon in Centennial Park. It’s on West End, near downtown and it’s one of my favorite places. I love nature; even man-made natural places like parks. There’s something invigorating about being surrounded by green. Green is my favorite color for that very reason – when I am surrounded by grass, trees, bushes, and flowers, I just feel full of life and closer to divinity. 

The clouds are round and hanging quite low, purple and grey with rain water that will probably start coming down in a few hours. There’s a cool breeze brushing across me, and I feel for a moment totally at peace. Then I realize there’s a laptop in my hands and I am online. I think about this – blogging about the natural world while I’m in the process of enjoying it. I like the irony.

This morning I woke up with a migraine, got an unpleasant voicemail from a family member, and took my million-dollar-Crohn’s-medicine. Well, $700.00 to be exact. But that’s not even all of it – I am supposed to be taking another medicine, humira, which is a shot you give yourself every two weeks. Unfortunately, I can’t buy it because my insurance plan requires me to front the full payment – in humira’s case, $4,400.00. Needless to say, I am writing lots of emails and exploring my options. My doctor suggested a similar medicine until my policy changes in January 09. I hope whoever becomes president does SOMETHING about situations like this one. Well, obviously McCain won’t. So I really hope Obama puts his money where his mouth is on this one…

Then after taking my medicine and enjoying a Crohn’s-friendly breakfast of oat granola and soy milk, I went to check the mail. A nice bill from the first gastroenterologist I saw at the beginning of this whole thing. Dr. Glassell. Now there’s a sweet old guy. Probably couldn’t smile to save his life. When I saw him in April, he basically blew me off and tried to treat me for IBS, which I clearly didn’t have. I told him that Crohn’s is hereditary, and two of my family members have it – shouldn’t we explore that? He said if I had something serious, we would “find out eventually.” That statement sent me running. My new doctor (at Vanderbilt – no surprise) ordered me the proper testing right away and diagnosed me with Crohn’s and Crohn’s related ulcers within a week of first seeing her. Such a fabulous doctor. I thought about Glassell after the whole thing and realized that if I would’ve stayed with him, I still might not be diagnosed and I would still be in pain and not getting treatment. Presumptuous idiot. 

So this bill. I look at the envelope, notice it’s from Glassell, and take a deep breath before I opened it. I only saw the guy ONE time, how much could he be charging me? Can I refuse to pay it? After all, the consultation was useless, and I had to find another doctor just to get the proper testing… I open the envelope quickly and pull out a simple blue piece of paper with a figure circled at the bottom: $17.33. Well, that’s not so bad. I take a deep sigh of relief. But, I still want to refuse to pay it. I mean, he did nothing. But I don’t know what I can really “get away with” and although I am often a fighter, I don’t want to fight unless it will actually accomplish something.

My primary doctor encouraged me to write Glassell a letter informing him of my situation, and so I did. I sat down and composed a 1-page letter, telling him why his words sent me running and the fact that getting a second opinion, in a sense, saved me. I ended the letter by telling him I hope he will not continue to be presumptuous with his patients’ cases. Clearly, if he doesn’t give a rat’s ass, then reading my little letter won’t change much. But suppose it does? Suppose my letter jabs at that small reserve of guilt somewhere in that doctor soul, and just suppose it affects him in some way? I don’t expect anything from him, but I want to make him aware that I did, indeed, have Crohn’s and he did absolutely nothing to find out. I mean, we are all human… aren’t we? 

Now if I could just find $4,400.00 lying under a rock somewhere…

[My blog title comes from the Ani song, "Reprieve." I just want to say from the start that the following blog deals with a complicated, broad topic that could have been supported with all kinds of fabulous scholarly work. I acknowledge all the research and work that has been done and relates to the ideas I express, but this blog is mainly an expression of my thoughts and feelings on the topic. It's not meant to be academic. Also, I don't mention the struggle of people of color, and more specifically, women of color, but I will be writing more on this topic of equality and its relationship with these other groups. At some point in the near future I will also be taking a more scholarly look at the discussion of race within feminist dialogue and literature, and how the struggles for women's rights and civil rights interconnect.]

I love the idea of equality – but what does it mean? I know what it means to me. However, when I hear that word I may get a very different image in my mind than, say, a male friend, or a white friend, or a friend in the military might get. You see, the word “equality” gets used by countless people groups to communicate various ideas about how we should get along together socially. But where is the consistency in the meaning of this word when it gets tossed around so much in so many diverse and distinctly different dialogues? I think it must be elaborated upon, and specifically described in order for us to truly understand what many oppressed groups are searching for when they make the general demand for “equality.”

Growing up, I always believed that girls were equal to, but different from boys. It’s not that we couldn’t play baseball, it’s just that most of us didn’t want to. It’s not that we couldn’t fight or cuss or stand up for ourselves… it’s just that most of us weren’t interested. My views have matured considerably since then but I still think many people – many women as well as men – don’t actually comprehend what equality is supposed to mean for women. I mean, most women don’t actually have the desire to burn their bras, chop off their hair, wipe off their makeup, and run around with a politically radical agenda – this is inaccurate image of feminism floating around in the minds of many. Most women I talk to look forward to fulfilling the [society-given] roles of motherhood, wifehood, and being beautiful. Many contemporary women have become so comfortable with the freedoms and opportunities now available to them that they don’t value those freedoms or the women who risked their lives to get us here.

I think part of the reason for women being irreverent to women’s rights is the part that Christianity plays in the minds of many American women. Traditional Biblical interpretations as taught in most evangelical protestant churches, as well as Catholic churches for centuries, is that women are subordinate to men. Not that they aren’t valuable to God, or “equal,” but that they simply have a different role to fulfill. This is where the huge gap seems to come from … you have the women’s rights activists dating back to the mid-19th century with Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, then the transition into a post-slavery America with women still fighting for equal rights (such as child custody laws, property ownership, and the right to vote, among others), and finally after the turn of the century women get the vote in 1922. Many of these suffragists used the Christian faith and the Bible to back up their cause. These were intelligent, educated, women, who were not looking to overturn their faith, but rather to work out their faith in a world that they could more easily make sense of – a world where they had the opportunity to develop an identity outside of their relationship to a man, whether it be their fathers, husbands, brothers, or sons.

However, it seems today that many Christian women view the word, “feminism” as a dirty word. Radical though it may be, it’s certainly not dirty. It’s one of the most beautiful words I know, and to me it simply means that women are free to be themselves – whatever that may be. Whatever an individual woman finds herself to be – whatever religion, political-belief system, sexual orientation, or profession she wants. Free to live in a society that does not trap her into a forced “role” at every corner. No doubt we still deal with sexism in many arenas, but we know that America is drastically different than it once was. Why do so many Christian women turn their nose up at the term, “feminist?” I believe in a God and a Christianity that intended a very different view of women (and all people for that matter) than the one our country and our major religious institutions have perpetuated.

What have we gained from Feminists? Let’s just remind ourselves for a moment what would be different is there never was a women’s rights movement: we would not have equal access to education; we would not be allowed to have custody of our children after a divorce, we would not own property (translate that into our modern time and this could be applied to all kinds of other valuable possessions); we would not be free to pursue any profession or oftentimes a profession at all (think hard about that one); we would not be able to make financial decisions for ourselves, and this in combination with the lack of education and career implies no means whatsoever of living independently or having any say in our lifestyle at all. All of these freedoms give us the possibility to live the lifestyles many of us currently lead – without these freedoms, we would simply be living at the mercy of the men around us. Not to mention that fact that if you take away all these freedoms you end up with a life largely void of purpose. We all have some desire to do something of worth during our time on this earth. And while some women truly feel complete by being wives and mothers – there are just as many who do not. There are many women throughout history who were written off as crazy because of the depression they suffered as a result of being denied the opportunity to express themselves and their true aspirations for life. Imagine all the talented writers, doctors, scientists, teachers, artists, musicians, and you-fill-in-the-blank that the world has been deprived of throughout history because of all the women who were never allowed to break out of the expectations set on them by society (society = men in power).

So what does equality mean? I think gender equality is something that both genders must embrace together. Because it’s only when we come together with a peaceable mindset that we can heal this still-seeping wound. Women do not want men to treat them “Differently.” Women do not want men to speak equitably in their presence, only to turn around and speak inequitably behind their backs. Women want men to start to think equitably, and live equitably, not only opening new avenues for women, but opening new avenues for themselves as men. Because it is in helping to liberate others that one may find his/her own liberation. And most of all, as a woman, I want a reprieve: a break, a lifting of a burden.

“if you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”
-ms. lilla watson, an aboriginal australian woman addressing a missionary serving in her country

(yes beth, I stole that one from you!)

“Washing one’s hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral.”

-Paulo Freire

“Education either functions as an instrument which is used to facilitate integration of the younger generation into the logic of the present system and bring about conformity or it becomes the practice of freedom, the means by which men and women deal critically and creatively with reality and discover how to participate in the transformation of their world.”

-Paulo Freire

“As all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media.”

-Bell Hooks

“Since our society continues to be primarily a “Christian” culture masses of people continue to believe that god has ordained that women be subordinate to men in the domestic household.”

-Bell Hooks

“Recount.” You know, the infamous story of why ultimately, Bush was appointed, rather than voted, the 43rd President of the USA. I had heard about the movie when Kevin Spacey promoted it on the Daily Show, CNN, etc., and knew it would be worth watching. It was. It felt a lot like “Good Night and Good Luck,” in the sense that the protagonists were fighting the “powers that be” – in the case of “Recount,” the infrastructure of the republican party, lobbyists, and the courts – for the cause of justice. By the end of it, though, I was so angry that I actually had to binge eat and go shopping. I need to find some better ways to relieve stress…

I was so surprised throughout the whole movie, wondering what would happen next. Obviously, we all know the grand ending. But I was hanging on the intricate, sometimes little-known steps along the way. The vain but harmful escapades of Katherine Harris (Secretary of State FL), the Republican lobbyists and lawyers, the back-and-forth, the true flaws in the voting system in Florida’s “in-question” counties, and of course the dedication of Kevin Spacey’s character… whose name now escapes me. Oh well, you get the point. He was the good guy. I have heard in interviews that the film-makers went to great lengths to make the film true to the real sequence of events, and although there is usually an agenda with films like these, I feel they did a fantastic job. A lot of real news media footage was woven into the film as well, which enhanced that sense of “reality.”

The thing that gets me the most: What was I doing in November, 2000? I was 16. I had just started my junior year at a new school. I went to church for all those fun “youth” activities. I had a boyfriend. I took my mom’s car out with my friends as often as she would let me. . . that’s about it. Can’t think of much else I was thinking about at the time. WHAT THE HELL? Why didn’t anyone around me bring up the election? I am serious – I don’t remember anything being said at my house except a vague memory of Al Gore being hated on for being so liberal. My family voted for Bush because he claimed to be a “Man of Prayer” . . . something he said once that really stuck with my parents. I don’t even remember any conversations at school – not in history class or anything. It worries me that NO ONE in my immediate community seemed informed or concerned at the absolute horror show that was going on in Florida… I mean, I don’t care who you support politically – every vote should count, as Spacey echoed over and over throughout the film.

The whole thing got me reflecting on my “political awakening,” as I affectionately call my journey to from a completely evangelical, Bible church-informed perspective of politics to a peaceful, politically/culturally-informed view of the Bible. I ask myself, how did I not even think about politics until my study abroad trip to Ecuador in 2004? Why did I have to travel to a third-world country in another hemisphere to get a real perspective on my own country, and the true injustices that exist here, among the privileged? I know why: Because I was totally immersed in a theology that told me everything would be okay as long as I had Jesus in my heart… I don’t want to diminish the theological idea of a personal relationship with the Trinity… but it doesn’t make everything alright. We are here, living in this world, and no one is going to make it better but us – the ones living here. As Ani’s song, “Up up up up” says, “Up up up up up up points the spire of the steeple, but God’s work isn’t done by God, it’s done by people.” (I think there are Ani lyrics for every situation in life.) I believe we are called by God to political action.

Watching “Recount” just reminded me of that conviction and of how important it is for the American people not to be comfortable with “politics as usual” as Obama says. We must not allow these types of injustices to happen again… if we can help it. And we should.

I think this entry will have a part II. . .